Hello everyone,
I apologize for not posting in a while. I have been very busy as of late. And by busy, I mean I played about 26 hours of video games this past weekend.
Anyways, I was hoping that one of you readers could help me interpret my most recent dream. This is really crazy, but I promise you the person living in my mind thought this twisted thing up and forced me to dream it. This is 100% true, no exaggeration.
With most dreams, you never really remember how it started. You always remember the end, so let me get to the part that I do remember.
I was racing downhill at very fast speeds. My opponent: Elton John. It was a younger Elton John, back when he was lively and not as midgety. He had his purple glasses on and the biggest smile on his face.
Anyways, it was hardly a fair race. Sir John was riding on a sweet purple moped. I, however, was fortunate enough to borrow his white roller skates that closely resemble hooker boots, with huge pink wheels. I say it wasn't a fair race because we all know that I totally blew him out of the water. You would be surprised how fast you can go in magical Elton John hooker roller skates.
He's where things get weird. When the race was over, Johnny hopped into a large brown van with no windows that clearly had the word "pedo" written on the side of it. He gave me the birdie, and drove away laughing.
If you are a dream interpreter, or know someone who is, please..... help me.
-Nom
Monday, April 23, 2012
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Bye Bye Best Buy
Good morrow,
While perusing through the daily news I came across an interesting article titled: "Best Buy closing 50 stores." (http://finance.yahoo.com/news/best-buy-shutter-50-big-120457157.html) Most of you that think you know me would assume that I would be saddened in the decline of a retailer of consumer electronics. However, I would like to inform you that I am more than delighted in the fall of this money making middle man establishment. You're probably not asking yourself, "why would he say such a thing?" But if you were, I will give you my take on why I think Best Buy is a first cousin of Satan.
The worst thing about Best Buy is that they are the poster boy of a "middle man." Before I continue, I would like to give props to the Best Buy founders for thinking of such an idea. Pure brilliance. However, now that consumers are "educated," all Best Buy can provide is a bias opinion on what cheap iPod you should buy next.
This brings me to my second point. As soon as you walk in the store you are attacked by pimple faced teenagers as if you had just erased their saved game in Final Fantasy 9. And if you make the fatal mistake of telling them why you came to the store, you might as well have handed them your child's college fund. Again, I will give props to the executives of Best Buy. They have trained their nerd squad on how to convince you to buy the most expensive piece of electronics, and treat you as if you have made the "best buy." Let me give you a scenario:
Uneducated 40 Year Old Woman: I came to buy a TV for my husband because he is awesome.
Level 42 Necromancer Employee: Oh that's special. Let me take you over to our TV section because you probably can't see the 65" TV's we have hanging on the wall.
Uneducated 40 Year Old Woman: Thank you. Does puberty come late for all the employees here?
*They walk over to the TV Section and the employee bounce passes the customer to the 'TV Specialist'*
Level 51 Paladin Employee: Hello, welcome to my nerd kingdom.
Uneducated 40 Year Old Woman: Hello, that is an interesting facial piercing you have there. I was hoping to find a nice TV that I could get for my husband because he is awesome.
Level 51 Paladin Employee: No problem. Let me tell you about our overpriced flat screens that we can mount on your wall for you at a small installation cost of $400.
Uneducated 40 Year Old Woman: You're telling me I only have to pay $3000 dollars for this 40" 360p TV, and you will "install" it for me for an additional $400?! And this is the best price around? I'll take two, and the $1000 insurance that doesn't really cover anything.
Boom. Another sucker has just paid $7800 for two crappy TV's that her husband can now use as a legs on his workbench for his woodworking projects. The point I'm getting at is that Best Buy overprices all of their electronics, they coerce you into buying more than you want/need, and then you leave the store with no education on what you just bought.
Word from the wise: go to Best Buy. Look at the TV's, play with the newest limited iPhone, or browse the latest video game. Then, get in your car, go home, and buy it online.
-Nom
P.S. This post is dedicated to Ratslim.
While perusing through the daily news I came across an interesting article titled: "Best Buy closing 50 stores." (http://finance.yahoo.com/news/best-buy-shutter-50-big-120457157.html) Most of you that think you know me would assume that I would be saddened in the decline of a retailer of consumer electronics. However, I would like to inform you that I am more than delighted in the fall of this money making middle man establishment. You're probably not asking yourself, "why would he say such a thing?" But if you were, I will give you my take on why I think Best Buy is a first cousin of Satan.
The worst thing about Best Buy is that they are the poster boy of a "middle man." Before I continue, I would like to give props to the Best Buy founders for thinking of such an idea. Pure brilliance. However, now that consumers are "educated," all Best Buy can provide is a bias opinion on what cheap iPod you should buy next.
This brings me to my second point. As soon as you walk in the store you are attacked by pimple faced teenagers as if you had just erased their saved game in Final Fantasy 9. And if you make the fatal mistake of telling them why you came to the store, you might as well have handed them your child's college fund. Again, I will give props to the executives of Best Buy. They have trained their nerd squad on how to convince you to buy the most expensive piece of electronics, and treat you as if you have made the "best buy." Let me give you a scenario:
Uneducated 40 Year Old Woman: I came to buy a TV for my husband because he is awesome.
Level 42 Necromancer Employee: Oh that's special. Let me take you over to our TV section because you probably can't see the 65" TV's we have hanging on the wall.
Uneducated 40 Year Old Woman: Thank you. Does puberty come late for all the employees here?
*They walk over to the TV Section and the employee bounce passes the customer to the 'TV Specialist'*
Level 51 Paladin Employee: Hello, welcome to my nerd kingdom.
Uneducated 40 Year Old Woman: Hello, that is an interesting facial piercing you have there. I was hoping to find a nice TV that I could get for my husband because he is awesome.
Level 51 Paladin Employee: No problem. Let me tell you about our overpriced flat screens that we can mount on your wall for you at a small installation cost of $400.
Uneducated 40 Year Old Woman: You're telling me I only have to pay $3000 dollars for this 40" 360p TV, and you will "install" it for me for an additional $400?! And this is the best price around? I'll take two, and the $1000 insurance that doesn't really cover anything.
Boom. Another sucker has just paid $7800 for two crappy TV's that her husband can now use as a legs on his workbench for his woodworking projects. The point I'm getting at is that Best Buy overprices all of their electronics, they coerce you into buying more than you want/need, and then you leave the store with no education on what you just bought.
Word from the wise: go to Best Buy. Look at the TV's, play with the newest limited iPhone, or browse the latest video game. Then, get in your car, go home, and buy it online.
-Nom
P.S. This post is dedicated to Ratslim.
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