Missed Connections: Post 1

Welcome back,

If you're reading this, I am assuming that you have also read the previous post found here.  While thinking about my first Missed Connections post, I realized that I did not fully explain an important aspect of the language/verbiage in these type of posts.  For some unknown reason, many of these posts have a very flowery and poetic language to them.  In fact, some of the posts are literally just a poem.

"you really don't know what you got until it is and it does take a long long long long time to get back where you were if I can forget about you I wouldn't be writing this I'm glad it's all good to you" (post id: 4692617553)

So, with that caveat added, here is my first post that will be going up on Craigslist the next couple of days (caveat #2; I have to use poor punctuation and bad grammar or it won't be believable):



You ran by me like a plastic bag in the wind.. i still remember that beautiful smell of yours; like a perfume i once smelled in a thrift shop... ahhh.. i can still taste it on my tongue.  i've never seen anything as beautiful as you in my life except for the time i walked in on my parents.  love is beautiful. when i laid eyes on you for the first time, i was instantly attracted and I couldn't help but be drawn closer to you, which explains the reason that I chased you. please don't be scared, i just needed to get a closer look to make sure my eyes weren't deceiving me.  If you remember me, i was wearing a black jacket with my hood on and a baseball hat and sunglasses.  You were wearing dress pants and a nice top, and were running really fast as you passed by me.. i've never seen anyone run so fast in high heels.  Please contact me if you remember me. to prove it was you, what three words did i yell at you as you were running away? (i'll give you a hint: i _ _ _ _ you!)  i would do anything to see you again. ANYTHING. :-D <3

- Nom

Side-note:  It seems as if our friend from the first post is still searching for the love of his life.  A day later, he posted another similar story about the girl that loves her milk.

"You are a younger lady who was helping her family by loading stuff in the shopping cart. Your mom, or someone, was in an electric scooter and you were walking up to the shelves, grabbing what she told you to get and then you'd put it in the cart. We met on a couple aisles, but then you walked up right next to me at the milk. You asked her, "How many?" She said a certain amount...what amount did she ask you to get? I also remember most of what you were wearing. What were you wearing? If you see this...please answer both questions...and if you can send a picture...and hopefully we can talk! You were so cute...I hope you see this!!" (post id: 4702741977)

Missed Connections

Fellow readers,

For some reason, I know about the "missed connections" link on Craigslist.  If you don't know what this is, I don't blame you.  But here's a quick run-down of what it is:

Essentially, people go to Craigslist in a SUPER desperate attempt to "re-connect" with someone.  I use the term "re-connect" loosely, because this implies that there was a connection in the first place.  That probably explains why they've titled the page "missed connections."  Anyways, what you do is go to a random gas station/liquor store, make eye contact with someone, and then go home and post about how you've let the love of your life slip through your fingers.

So, I had a plan, but I don't know how well it is going to work.  My plan was to write a humorous fake missed connection post, and see what replies I got.  Here's my struggle: some of these posts are so funny that I don't think I could top them.  The problem is that these posts are actually real.


"We were at wal mart the same time today. I saw you a few times. The last time we were by the milk. You walked up right next to me and got milk for your family. Your family had a couple shopping carts I think and your mom, or someone, was riding in one of the electric scooters. I know some of what you were wearing and how many gallons of milk you got. Please let me know a slight description of what you wore today and how many gallons of milk you got. You were so cute...I hope you see this!" (post id: 4700963120)


If you ever get bored and need a good chuckle, head on over to the Craigslist Missed Connections.  Who knows, maybe someone saw you pumping gas while they were at a stoplight and has been desperately attempting to reach you ever since.

I'll be posting my first Craigslist post on the blog in a day or two.  I'm not going to provide the actual link to my post because I know some of you may try to screw up this experiment.  Trolls.

-Nom

The Blog is Back...?

Hello thousands of readers,


After sorting through 1000+ pieces of fan mail, I've realized that it is time for me to start writing again.  I took almost a 2 year hiatus, but I feel as if life has returned to "normal" and I can continue to blog to the masses.

I haven't an idea about what to write about.  I suppose I will continue to write little jokes, conduct social networking experiments, and attempt to continue with the same shenanigans as before.

If you have any specific questions you'd like answered, or suggestions for future posts, please leave a comment and I will be sure to read it.

Here's a little sneak-peek of my next blog post and many blog posts to come: Craigslist Missed Connections.

- Nom