Hello all,
I've decided that it is time I post
another blog. I know some of you have been complaining about my absence,
but this is my blog so I do what I want. Get your own.
Since today is January 1st, I
should probably write about something to do with my new year’s
resolution. But my only resolution this year is to start blogging
more. So far I'm golden.
There is one particular story that
I would like to share with you about a recent experience of mine that I'm very
fond of. My wife, Nobin, and I attend a local church that likes to put us
in awkward situations. Someone gets up in front before the service
starts, and says something along the lines of, "greet those around you and
ask them how you can pray for them today." It just seems like an awkward
question to me. I don't really want to know the sins of the people
sitting around me are.
Well, last Sunday as I sat waiting
for this awkward moment, I tried to think of something normal that I could say
where the person behind me wouldn't judge me the rest of the day. I
couldn't think of anything, and next thing I know I am shaking hands with the
person behind me, and they ask, "How can I pray for you today?"
Well, mid hand-shake, all I could come up with was, "I struggle with
masturbation."
It was a 70 year old lady… I'm just
thankful she didn't respond with, "I can help you with that. ;-)"
I would bet my life savings that
the individual sitting behind me that day will never be shaking my hand
again. I'm just hoping that makes it into the church bulletin.
One more thing… I got a massage the
other day. Here are my thoughts…
To sum it up in one sentence: it is
basically a constant struggle between pure relaxation, and fighting off a
hard-on. The foot massage portion was
great and all, but it got awkward when she started licking my toes. Oh, and I purchased the “whole body massage”
package… well, it turns out to be about 98% of the body. Pretty big disappointment. The worst part of it all was that it was a
one hour massage, but I spent the last 58 minutes thinking about when she’s
going to ask me if I’d like a happy ending. That made time fly, and I pretty much missed
the whole thing. Better luck next time I
suppose.
-Nom
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