Good evening,
Today I would like to talk to you about food discipline. No, I'm not talking about spanking your cheeseburger. (although it might help by squeezing some of the mayonnaise out) I'm referring to the practice of eating better foods to help slow down your weight gain. You're probably asking yourself, "how can this be done?" Well, let me tell you about an ancient torture technique that has helped me, and will probably not help you but you can read about it anyways.
The origin of this torture practice is unknown. However, smart people believe that it was used by the ancient Mesopotamians during the battle of 1812 BC. It was said that when they captured Native Americans (they were also fat because they were American) they would torment the POWs because it makes this story sound better. The details are gruesome, but here is a condensed version for your reading pleasure:
The first step in the process to go to this website 'http://www.acandystore.com/peanut-mms-bulk-10lb.html' and buy the 10 pound bag of peanut M&Ms. Now, this next part is tricky. Wait for the M&Ms to arrive in the mail. OK, now that you have the peanut M&Ms you want to weigh the 10 pound bag to make sure you didn't get ripped off. If you did, go buy some single servings of M&Ms and fill up your bag until it weighs ten pounds so that you can tell people you have a ten pound bag of M&Ms. Now, everyday when you come home from work you will be hungry because you are fat. Go to your colossal bag of M&Ms and eat one. Please note: only eat one. Then, spend the next 30-60 minutes of your time staring at the bag of M&Ms. Not only will this help you with self discipline, but if it fails, you still have 10 lbs of peanut M&Ms that you can eat.
-Nom
Today I would like to talk to you about food discipline. No, I'm not talking about spanking your cheeseburger. (although it might help by squeezing some of the mayonnaise out) I'm referring to the practice of eating better foods to help slow down your weight gain. You're probably asking yourself, "how can this be done?" Well, let me tell you about an ancient torture technique that has helped me, and will probably not help you but you can read about it anyways.
The origin of this torture practice is unknown. However, smart people believe that it was used by the ancient Mesopotamians during the battle of 1812 BC. It was said that when they captured Native Americans (they were also fat because they were American) they would torment the POWs because it makes this story sound better. The details are gruesome, but here is a condensed version for your reading pleasure:
The first step in the process to go to this website 'http://www.acandystore.com/peanut-mms-bulk-10lb.html' and buy the 10 pound bag of peanut M&Ms. Now, this next part is tricky. Wait for the M&Ms to arrive in the mail. OK, now that you have the peanut M&Ms you want to weigh the 10 pound bag to make sure you didn't get ripped off. If you did, go buy some single servings of M&Ms and fill up your bag until it weighs ten pounds so that you can tell people you have a ten pound bag of M&Ms. Now, everyday when you come home from work you will be hungry because you are fat. Go to your colossal bag of M&Ms and eat one. Please note: only eat one. Then, spend the next 30-60 minutes of your time staring at the bag of M&Ms. Not only will this help you with self discipline, but if it fails, you still have 10 lbs of peanut M&Ms that you can eat.
-Nom
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